This story about Sam, coming a day or so after the insights with young Jess, led me to realize that it's not just thoughts that aren't all ours, it's feelings too.

A day or so after Jess, I had another healing session with Sam who has often been considered neurotic. She's made her way from doctor to doctor, healer to healer, hunting for peace for her mind, which was overwhelmed with thoughts that didn't always make sense to other people and with an intensity of feelings that often frightened her. Coming so soon after Jess's session, I guess it's not rocket science for you to make the leap here with me either.

Yep, she's just extremely sensitive to other people's thoughts and feelings too, so when she can recognize whose thoughts and feelings they are and what her soul wants her to know about them, they just drop away and torment her no more. It's a huge issue and she was still struggling through this process a few weeks later as I wrote the first draft of this book.

It's very important to remember, that in this process, like in everything else that we do, we can try too hard. And Sam has certainly been trying very hard!

It's also important to remember that failure itself is just another change place on the way to our dream.

I've known for some three years now that there is a particular way of being influenced by other people's energy that drove me nuts. I've spent that whole time trying to clear away this sensitivity. I noticed that when I walk into a room and someone's doing "angry", I spark up angry too. When they're doing frightened, I feel anxious too, when they're doing sad, I do sad with them and so on.

And there is no doubt whatsoever, in hindsight, that it was happening many more times without me being aware of it too.

I had this dawning sense of wonder when I was working with Sam and later in other healing sessions, and I realized that this sensitivity wasn't a burden, it was a blessing. It enabled me to feel what the other person was feeling and to either know or do something about it.

In fact, these feelings were a message from my soul about something I had to know or do about the other person. Acknowledging this sensitivity has had me experience a connectedness to other people and animals and even to the earth in ways that has filled my heart with wonder.

Please note that I don't use the word "soul" in a religious sense, although I have great respect for other people's religions and beliefs. I am using the word "soul" to describe that amazing and always beautiful, inner "us".

Thus was born THE QUESTIONS, the three most important questions in the world whenever I feel anything - angry or sad or frustrated or frightened or anything else:

1. WHOSE FEELINGS OR THOUGHTS ARE THEY? MINE OR SOMEONE ELSE'S?

2. WHAT DOES MY SOUL WANT ME TO KNOW OR DO ABOUT IT?

3. IS THERE ANY FEELING OR THOUGHT LEFT THAT NEEDS ME TO KEEP ASKING THE ABOVE TWO QUESTIONS UNTIL THE FEELING IS ALL GONE?

And when the thoughts and feelings are all gone, then you have all the information that you need about that situation right now.

I promise you, it's not just sensitive little me who can do this. I've been exploring this with other people ever since I realized what was going on and everyone can do it. Some people can do it more easily than others. You will be able to do it too, exactly the way that your soul wants you to.

It's your first instant response to the question that's most important. Once you start dwelling on it, it's way too easy for your fears and old traumas and behavioral patterns to produce an answer. But even if you do bring old fears and traumas in by mistake, you'll know, because the feeling will only go away when you get the right answer, when you get the communication from your soul.

Have a go at this right now, close your eyes a moment and think about the last time you were annoyed at someone. Pick an easy one for your first "go" and work on an “annoyed” rather than a big "angry" . Ask these three questions, think about and explore the first answer that pops up into your mind:

1. Whose feeling was it?

2. What do I need to know or do about it?

3. Has the feeling all gone yet? If not, repeat the first two questions until it has gone.

If it wasn't a "wow" for you yet, know that many people will take a bit of time to really get into it. Not to worry! You just need to do it gentler, over a longer period of time. Some big issues may need longer time for the insights to filter in too. Just notice the things that pop up into your mind over the next few days, or even longer in some cases. It may be in the words of a song, a line from a movie, something someone says, something you read, something that just "pops" into your mind -- whatever. I've found that keeping a notebook can help you put the bits and pieces of the picture together when the insight comes in over a longer period.

I'll express this more clearly later in the book when I've drawn in the other threads that help us to understand, but failure is simply another thing that brings up emotion and you can ask the same questions about failure as you do about any other emotional issue and understand what your soul wants you to know about it.

1. Whose thoughts or feelings about failure are they?

2. What do I need to know or do about it?

3. Have the feelings and thoughts all gone yet? And repeat the first two questions until they have.

It was quite quick, only a matter of weeks, before I was doing these questions so automatically that sometimes I could even continue having a conversation while I was doing it! There are other times where I have to pause and think for a moment and also still some "stuff" that is so big that it still takes me a few days to get at.

Getting what my soul wants me to know or do about people in my healing clinic has become the most powerful healing tool that I have. Getting what my soul wants me to know or do about the horses and people in my Spirit of Horse clinics is the most powerful teaching tool I have. Getting what my soul wants me to know about my friends and family is the most powerful relationship tool that I have.

In fact, this is the most powerful tool for life that I have!